If you’re a fast-food aficionado, you know that Wednesday is Whopper Day at Burger King. It’s the day when Burger King restaurants - at least those in Toronto that I know of - make Whopper combos nice and cheap… you can get the burger, fries and pop for less than $5. So with Burger King on the brain today, I thought I’d point out the chain’s latest monstrosity: the Bourbon Whopper.

I noticed it a few weeks ago and have seen TV ads airing over the past few days. I’d embed the ad here or link to it, but it appears that this particular burger is only being sold in Canada for now. And as we should know by now, if something doesn’t exist in the U.S., it doesn’t exist period… so no video for you.

Anyway, the essence of the Bourbon Whopper is that it’s a Whopper with cheese, and bacon, and onion rings… in the actual burger. The “bourbon” comes from its tangy sauce.

If that sounds like a heart attack in a bun, well you’re right - it very well may be. Not only could I not find a video of the burger, I also couldn’t find any nutritional information on it. In the interest of science, I tried to reconstruct the nutritional information on the Bourbon Whopper using Burger King’s existing menu. Here’s what I found:

Bourbon Whopper
Whopper with cheese: 760 calories, 47 grams of fat, 1,320 milligrams of sodium.
Bacon, 40 calories: 2 grams of fat, 150 mg of sodium.
Onion rings (small): 200 calories, 10 grams of fat, 390 mg of sodium.
Barbecue sauce: 40 calories, 310 mg of sodium.

Totaling that up, we have 1,040 calories, 59 grams of fat and 2,170 milligrams of sodium. Now if you get a standard sized combo, you add in:

Fries (medium): 350 calories, 17 grams of fat, 790 mg of sodium.
Coke (medium): 230 calories, 50 mg sodium.

Which brings us to a grand total of 1,620 calories, 76 grams of fat and 3,010 milligrams of sodium. To put it into perspective, the Dietary Reference Intake (as developed by the U.S. National Academy of Sciences) recommends a daily dose of 2,000 calories, 65 grams of fat and 2,400 mg of sodium. In other words, eating this one meal will put you well over the fat and salt limit you’re supposed to eat in an entire day, and very close to total caloric intake.

On the one hand: man, that’s gross.

On the other: anyone else getting hungry?