WordsByNowak

A couple weeks back I wrote about how Burger King had recently introduced a poutine-like menu item to its Brazilian outlets. Well, it turns out the burger chain (which, by the way, is owned by Brazilians) isn’t just expanding poutine to other countries - it’s also adding new concoctions right here in Canada.

Just about a month ago, Burger King added two new kinds of poutine to its menu, bringing its total to three. As you can see from the photo below, there’s Angry Poutine and Poutine with Bacon.

Regular readers know that this sort of stuff can’t happen without me checking it out. Call it research.

So I hit the nearest Burger King the other day and was immediately faced with a dilemma: which of the new poutines to eat? Both looked really good in the photos.

“Angry Poutine” was the more intriguing of the two, mostly because eating poutine makes me the opposite of angry. Obviously, it fits in with the chain’s spicy line of “Angry” products, but still.

In any event, Angry Poutine it was. It had the hallmarks of regular poutine - fries, cheese curds and gravy - but it also came topped with onion rings, a spicy “Angry sauce” and jalapenos. I’m not big on spicy foods, but the meal was good nonetheless. The sauce had a little sweetness to it, which counteracted some of the sizzle from the jalapenos. Would I eat it again? Sure, but not before I try the bacon one first.

If you’re considering trying either, you’d better hurry because the chain says they’re only being offered for a limited time. Of course, that’s what they all say - KFC’s Double Down was only supposed to be around for a little while and we know how that turned out.

And if you’re hankering for more poutine advice, my two picks are the following. For plain old basic poutine, my favourite is New York Fries. For the fully loaded kind, I like the Nacho Grande Poutine at Smoke’s. The best poutine I’ve ever had was at Fionn MacCool’s pub on the Esplanade here in Toronto, where they use Guinness in their gravy. Mmmmm… Guinness gravy…

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been working on a story related to poutine - that famous French Canadian creation that involves smothering fries with gravy and cheese curds.

Much to my surprise, I came across a similar Brazilian creation, at Burger King no less. The Trio Supremo, pictured below, features chicken nuggets and onion rings with a main serving of fries drenched in cheese and bacon. According to the handy-dandy Google translation of the main page, all BK restaurants in Brazil are serving this lovely concoction as of June.

Ironically, while researching my story I found that Burger King is the biggest seller of poutine in Canada, according to the NPD Group consumer tracking firm. So has the Brazilian operation just adopted the hottest thing in Canadian food since the Nanaimo bar? Who knows, but looking at the picture is sure making me hungry.

This week’s funny comes, once again, via my man Tom Megginson. Where he gets this stuff, I have no idea. Well, I do… he attributes it properly, which means today’s blog post is something like fourth- or fifth-hand information. What can I say, it’s been a busy week and I’ve become a little bit lazy.

The news is that Burger King has decided to try and woo women customers in Asia with an unusual-although-probably-obvious idea: smaller burgers. The BK Shots, or tiny shots of beef to the mouth (that’s what she said), are essentially sliders. Or, as Burger King is pitching them to women in Singapore, they’re: “Petite and girl-friendly, it’s the burger that women have been wanting all along.”

Check out the ad, featuring beef of the cow kind and of the male stud kind (and click here if you can’t see it below):

Burger King’s strategy is of course in direct opposition to those employed by burger restaurants of all stripes when aiming their products at men, who like their beef as ample and grotesque as possible. I’m fairly sure there aren’t too many women who eat at the Heart Attack Grill or Dangerous Dan’s.

Yesterday was memorable for our American friends for a couple of reasons. First, it was Martin Luther King day. Second, and perhaps equally as important, Burger King officially rolled out its new stuffed burger. (Okay, clearly the second is a little less important.)

For a limited time only, the chain is selling the Jalapeno and Cheddar BK Stuffed Steakhouse, which is a burger with the cheese and peppers built right into the patty. Mmm… cheese… patty… built right in…

Is it a gimmick? Perhaps, but the folks at Burger Business don’t think so. The blog, which likes to predict burger trends, thinks 2011 will be the year of the stuffed burger. Burger King therefore appears to be leading the charge.

As usual, we Canadians will get this late, if at all, so in the meantime we’re stuck making our own stuffed burgers. Here are some tips on how to do so. Of course, if you’ve got a craving any time soon, you’ll first have to chisel the ice off your barbecue.

(Thanks to Justin for the tip!)

It’s that time of year again: the top 10 posts of the year. I loves me my Google Analytics, as I can go back and see exactly which posts were viewed by how many people, where they were when they looked at them, and even which web browser they used. Indeed, I’m still trying to figure out how to get Analytics to work on my new WordPress site, WordsByNowak.com, which is the only reason that SexBombsBurgers.com over  on Blogger is still active.

In any event, here are the ten most viewed post of the past year, with some thoughts following.

10. Milking the golden cow that is porn

I obviously had a lot of posts about porn over the past year, so the fact that this one made the top 10 is somewhat surprising. It was about advertising firm M&C Saatchi winning the account for ICM Registry, the company that will run the .XXX domain name.

9. The challenges of finding ethical porn

Oh look, another porn post. Shocker! This one came out of a Globe and Mail article for which I was interviewed, and the headline is pretty self-explanatory.

8. Adult industry watching YouTube closely

7. Pirating Sex, Bombs and Burgers

The first non-porn post in the top ten. My book hit BitTorrent sites in June (or at least that’s when I became aware that it had) and overall, I don’t really mind.